Time to Heal
by skye5052
Summary: LUMI: After being pushed down a flight of stairs and losing the baby she'd just discovered she was carrying, Sami undergoes a journey of change to rediscover herself, while Lucas struggles to handle the many losses in his life
1. Chapter 1

**Time to Heal**

**Chapter One**

This could not be happening.

It was crazy, it was impossible- well, not impossible, she conceded with a grimace, but definitely improbable.

As if her life wasn't complicated enough already, what with half her family dead, including her mother who had been shot to death by the police on her Uncle Bo's order after the alleged serial killer tried to break out of jail, and then the entire mess with Lucas... now this, too?

Why, oh, why had she ever let him touch her in the first place? Hadn't she learned her lesson the last time, the only other time, that they had been together?

Closing her eyes, Sami Brady leaned against the cool lobby wall of her apartment building, waiting for the elevator as another wave of lightheadedness came over her. It had been the lightheadedness, coupled with the nausea, that led her to make an appointment at the hospital in the first place, but she'd been hoping that she was just being paranoid, that it was stress mixed with fatigue and nothing more.

There had certainly been plenty of stress in her life over the past week, the apartment seemed so empty without Will now that he was away at camp, and when she wasn't burying herself in her work at the office until all hours of the night, she was avoiding Lucas like the plague. The last thing she wanted was to see his face, not after what he'd done at Alice's that night, not after she'd spotted that woman, Manda, leaving his apartment the next morning.

She'd called in sick to work that day, locked herself in her room and just cried herself to sleep clutching an old stuffed animal that had taken up residence on her bed now that Will had insisted he'd outgrown it.

After words of wisdom from both Rex and Bonnie that night, she'd convinced herself that Lucas was worth fighting for, that if she just told him how much she loved him, they'd be able to work things out. Now, though, she was wondering why she'd ever wasted her time on him in the first place. Lucas and Sami? It was a crazy idea, always had been and always would be, there was too much bitterness and betrayal between them for it to have ever worked.

If she needed proof of that, all she had to do was look at how Lucas had flaunted Manda in her face, calling her a 'heartless bitch' and a slut, words she'd heard plenty of times before, even from him. It wasn't the words that bothered her, though, it was the fact that he was deliberately trying to hurt her, in the most personal and intimate way imaginable. This wasn't a new pattern, it had been like this between them in the past, during all those dark years of fighting, each of them lashing out and trying to hurt the other worse than they'd been hurt.

They were right back on that same sick cycle carousel all over again, as if they'd never gotten off of it.

And that, Sami decided, only showed that they just weren't meant to be.

The fact that they were going to be parents together all over again was merely an ironic coincidence.

Glancing up at the dial over the elevator shaft, she was irritated to find that the car was still lingering up near the top floor. At this rate, she might as well take the stairs, she'd probably make it up to her apartment long before the elevator even reached the ground floor.

With a glare at the heavy elevator doors, she turned on her heel and made her way to the stairwell, starting her climb up towards her floor, grumbling under her breath. This day was not going at all the way she'd planned, that was for sure. Lexie had been surprisingly kind to her at the hospital, probably out of pity, but there wasn't much the doctor could do for her other than write a prescription for some prenatal vitamins.

What she really needed, Sami admitted to herself, was someone to talk to. Someone that she could sit down with and share all of her fears and anxiety about this unexpected turn of events, as well as the hopes that came along with it. She had no idea what she was going to do, Lucas wasn't even speaking to her anymore and she'd convinced herself that was the way she wanted it, but she certainly couldn't do this on her own. With Will, she'd had Lucas to turn to, he'd been there for them every step of the way, even before he'd known that he was the father.

Now, though, everything was so screwed up, and she didn't have the faintest idea how to fix any of it, much less how to even go about telling Lucas that he was going to be the father of her child yet again.

Oh, he'd rise to the occasion and be a wonderful father to this child, just as he had been to Will, of that she had no doubt. Their baby would never want for love or attention, not from either of them, and between the two of them and Will, it would be a miracle if she, for Sami was certain that this baby would be a girl, didn't grow up completely spoiled.

It was everything else that she was uncertain about.

How would Lucas feel about yet another bridge connecting their lives? Was he going to try and get custody of the baby like he had Will? Would Will be confused about the new addition to the family when his parents weren't even together anymore?

There were just so many questions and she didn't have the answers to any of them, so she needed someone who did.

Who was she supposed to talk to, though? Her mother was dead and Belle was practically joined at the hip with Philip lately, so she'd just insist that Sami go tell Lucas, something she definitely wasn't ready to do yet. There was always Rex, of course, her half-brother had seemed sincere enough about wanting to build a relationship that night at Alice's, but somehow Sami just didn't feel up to confiding this secret in him, especially not since he was technically Lucas' half-brother, too, which would make him feel obligated to pressure her into telling him.

She could always call Eric, but then again her twin would probably decide to kill Lucas, and Carrie was out of the question, her older sister couldn't even bother to come home for their father's funeral and Sami had absolutely no intention of calling her in Israel.

The only other family she had in Salem was her uncle, who she still held accountable for her mother's death, and her stepfather, who wasn't even an option. She was already emotionally drained, the last thing she needed was to have John Black thrown into the mix. Sure, he might have listened, and if she was honest with herself it would have been nice to have someone fussing over her, but there was just too much baggage that came along with him.

Besides, he was Kate's business partner and friend, and if that bitch ever found out...

"God help us all," Sami grumbled to herself as she reached the landing for her floor, stopping at the top of the stairs to open her purse and dig around for her keys. Normally they were near the top, but she'd been in such a state after leaving the hospital that she'd shoved them down to the bottom of the bag.

Absently, she was aware of footsteps somewhere behind her, someone either coming out from the hallway or down from the floor overhead, and she started to turn her head to see who it was when she felt something solid connect with her lower back.

She stumbled, swaying precariously on the edge of the steps for one terrifyingly surreal moment.

And then she went tumbling down the stairs, landing in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the landing a few moments later, and everything went black.

**Two Hours Later...**

Pacing the waiting room, John Black ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, glancing at the clock on the wall for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past few minutes.

_Dammit,_ he thought irritably._ How long is this going to take?_

After the phone call he'd gotten from Lexie once the ambulance brought Sami in, he wanted some answers, but all he'd been able to get out of anyone so far was that his stepdaughter had fallen down the stairs in her apartment building. The full extent of her injuries hadn't yet been determined, but given the nasty blow she'd taken to the head during her fall, it was more than probable that she would have a concussion once she came to.

"Dad, come sit down," Brady ordered gently, and John looked over at where his son sat, along with Belle, who was tearful and silent, the occasional sniffle coming from her direction. "Pacing won't help Sami wake up any faster."

"I know that," John sighed. "I just feel so helpless."

"We all do," Brady assured him. "But Sami's tough, she's survived worse than this, remember?"

"Brady's right," Belle agreed with a weak smile. "She'll be fine."

Sensing that she was waiting for him to reassure her, John gave his youngest child what he hoped was a faultless smile in return. It was true, Sami most likely would be fine, the paramedics had noted what a miracle it was that she hadn't broken her neck, but he couldn't forget the worried tone in Lexie's voice when she'd called.

Something was wrong, he was sure of it, and he wanted to exactly what it was.

Maybe he was just being paranoid, but after losing so many friends and family members, after watching Marlena get shot down on the prison rooftop, only to have her die in his arms, John felt that he was entitled to a little bit of paranoia. He couldn't bear losing anyone else, especially not one of the children, not when he hadn't gotten the chance to make amends with Sami, to tell the daughter he'd raised as his own that he still loved her, no matter what had happened between them in the past.

_I can't lose her, Doc, _he thought desperately, praying that Marlena could hear him and somehow help save their little girl. _I already lost you, Samantha can't leave me, too._

Why was it always Sami, anyway? Why was she the one always getting hurt like this? Not that he wanted any of his other children to wind up in the hospital, mind you, it still seemed a bit unfair that all the bad things always had to happen to her.

Then again, Sami was probably the only one who could endure them all. She was constantly being knocked down, and she never failed to get back on her feet again somehow. It was one of the things that he admired most about her, that relentless determination and unwavering stubbornness that allowed her to keep fighting no matter how bad the odds.

_Just don't quit fighting now, peanut,_ he implored her silently. _You've got too many people who need you to wake up. Belle, Eric, Carrie, Brady, Grandpa Shawn, your cousins, Will... your little boy's counting on you, Sami. Don't let him down._

John had briefly considered whether or not to call Will at camp and let his stepgrandson know about what had happened, but he had decided against it for now, better to wait until they knew exactly what was going on. Lexie had been quite clear that Sami's injuries didn't appear to be life threatening, so he didn't see a point in worrying the boy just yet.

Besides, if it turned out that there was something serious to report, it might be better for Will to hear it from his father, even if John's opinion of Lucas Roberts had significantly lowered over the past week or so. He'd got a glimpse of Lucas with some woman all over him at Alice's the week before, and while Sami didn't confide in him about such matters, or much of anything lately, John was certain that had something to do with his stepdaughter's sullen mood at work over the past few days.

And Kate's gloating certainly hadn't helped.

Sighing, John rubbed his forehead wearily, making a mental note to talk to her about her attitude towards Sami at work, because while he could sympathize with her, he couldn't help being snarky to Sami sometimes, either, it was starting to cause problems at the office. And frankly, he was just sick and tired of listening to her badmouth Sami every time she opened her mouth, he had more important things to worry about than whether or not his stepdaughter was plotting against his business partner.

"Dad," Brady said suddenly, nodding in the other direction, and John turned to find Lexie Carver approaching, her clipboard in hand as she gestured that she wanted to speak with him.

"How is she?" John asked at once.

"She's got some bumps and bruises, a few broken bones, but nothing that we can't fix up," Lexie assured him with a weak, tired smile.

"So she's going to be fine, right?" Belle asked, biting her lip anxiously.

"Physically, anyway," Lexie confirmed, her expression turning grave and remorseful. "I'm afraid the emotional and psychological scars from something like this can take a long time to heal, so there's no telling how long it will take for Sami to fully recover."

"What are you talking about?" Brady demanded, voicing the confusion that her words had stirred within them all. "I mean, I know falling down a flight of stairs is horrible, she's lucky she didn't break her neck, but how is that going to affect her emotionally?"

Lexie blinked, clearly taken aback, and for a moment her eyes darted over each of their faces, as if searching for something. Then she pressed her lips together, dark eyes narrowing in sudden, weary realization. "You didn't know," she said at last, more of an observation than a question.

"Know what?" John asked impatiently, not liking being left in the dark, especially not when it concerned one of his children. "What's going on, Lexie? What's wrong with Samantha?"

"You know I can't tell you that, John," Lexie replied with regret, shaking her head. "Doctor-patient privilege."

"To hell with Doctor-patient privilege," John cried sharply. "That's my daughter in there!"

"Stepdaughter," Lexie corrected evenly.

"Does it matter?" John demanded shortly, used to ignoring the sting of that word 'step' attached to the child he had raised, who was just as much his as she was Roman's, blood or not. "Just tell me what's going on."

Lexie glared back at him for a long moment, and he met her gaze steadily until she sighed in defeat, looking down at her clipboard. "I really shouldn't be telling you this," she muttered irritably before lifting her voice to a more professional tone. "Sami came to see me this afternoon, she needed to have a test done."

"What kind of test?" John asked, his mouth going dry. Was Sami sick and he hadn't even known? Could he really have been so wrapped up in clearing Marlena's name and finding out what Nicole and Crystal were hiding that he hadn't even noticed she was having medical problems?

"A pregnancy test," Lexie answered quietly.

It was odd, how he could be so relieved and so shocked at the same time. So Sami wasn't sick, that was wonderful, she was just pregnant, and that was... he didn't know what that was, really. It had been a devastating blow to find out that she was going to be a mother at seventeen, but she wasn't a kid anymore, she was a grown woman with a beautiful son whom she loved more than anything in the world, so there was no question about her capabilities as a mother.

But to be pregnant, now of all times, when nothing seemed to be going right for her?

"She lost the baby, then?" Brady inquired solemnly, genuine sympathy for his stepsister showing in his expression.

"Yes," Lexie confirmed with a sad nod of her head. "I knew when they first brought her in, but I'd hoped... it was a bad fall, there wasn't really any chance for the baby to survive."

"Oh God," Belle whispered, a hand going to her mouth as her pale blue eyes shimmered. "Poor Sami."

John, who was still in shock, focused on those words, his heart sinking as he thought of what this would do to Sami. She had already lost so much, her parents, her grandmother... this would kill her.

"Who's the father?" Brady wanted to know, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"Lucas," Belle sniffled, then stiffened suddenly. "Oh no..."

"What?" John asked tensely. "What is it?"

"I was with Philip when you called to tell me about Sami," Belle replied nervously, chewing her lip. "I told him that she'd been rushed to the hospital. You don't think... I mean, what if he called Lucas? Someone's going to have to tell him that Sami lost their baby."

"Did he even know she was pregnant?" Brady asked.

"No," a strangled voice said from behind them, and the hair on the back of John's neck bristled in dread. "I didn't."

Belle gasped and they all turned to find Lucas standing in the mouth of the waiting room with Philip and Rex just behind him, his face deathly pale and a stunned, horrified look on his face.

"Dammit," Brady cursed, effectively summing up what they were all thinking.


	2. Chapter 2

**Time to Heal**

**Chapter Two**

In the short years that he had been a resident of Salem, Rex had learned to expect the unexpected.

After all, he and his twin sister had been raised in a lab, of all places, and upon arriving in town they'd been mistaken for aliens, thanks in part to Belle's overactive imagination. And then there had been the endless confusion about their parentage, first it had seemed they were the children of Tony DiMera and Marlena Evans, but then it had turned out that their real parents were none other than the two people they loathed most, Roman Brady and Kate Roberts.

The only bright side to that horrible mess, changing parents and families all over again, was that at least one sibling had remained the same, even if he and Sami had never gotten along very well.

Besides, he'd been trying to fix that as of late, making progress with his temperamental half-sister slowly, but steadily ever since that night at Alice's a week ago.

The same night that his idiot half-brother Lucas had caused her to hide out in the bathroom in tears.

It wasn't like Rex and Sami were all that close, but he still didn't like to see her cry. She was his sister, after all, and she'd suffered too much pain over the past year for his liking.

At the moment, though, Rex couldn't bring himself to be angry with Lucas, not when the older man was so clearly reeling in shock, his face pale and his dark eyes brimming with the kind of anguish that Rex couldn't understand, and hoped he never would.

"Lucas," Lexie began gently, her eyes wide with sympathy and concern. "I'm so sorry."

Lucas nodded absently, swallowing hard.

"Sami was pregnant?" Philip asked in horror, unable to keep from looking ill. "Oh my God..."

"Ten weeks along," Lexie confirmed regretfully, and she truly looked as if she'd never hated her job more. "That would have made the conception date sometime around-"

"I know when it was," Lucas cut her off flatly, his voice decidedly emotionless, as if he had gone numb.

Rex bit his lip, looking at his brother hard, trying to figure out just what was going through his head right now, but deciding that maybe he didn't want to know. He was just relieved, and a bit surprised, that Lucas hadn't passed out yet.

"Hey, bro," Philip said, following Rex's gaze and observing Lucas with a worried frown. "Why don't we sit down, okay? My feet are killing me, and you don't look so good."

"I'm fine," came the expected monotone reply, but Philip wasn't going to take no for an answer and none too gently steered Lucas over to a chair, pushing him down into it by his shoulders. It was probably for the best since Lucas practically collapsed against the back of the chair.

Turning his attention back to the others in the room, Sami's stepfather, stepbrother and beloved little sister, Rex wasn't surprised to note that all three of the Blacks looked exhausted, despite the fact that it wasn't all that late in the evening. Hearing of Sami's fall had clearly shaken them up, and Rex could relate. When Philip had called him to give him the news, he'd been stunned, and once his shock wore off, he'd been left with a tense sort of anxiety that he couldn't seem to shake.

Now that Lexie had confirmed that Sami was going to be okay, it seemed like he should be able to relax, but in light of the miscarriage she'd apparently suffered, his mood had sunk even lower. This baby would have been his niece or nephew, two times over since both mother and father were his half-siblings, as incestuous as that sounded.

And more importantly, his sister had just suffered the kind of loss that would haunt her for years to come.

Not for the first time, Rex wished that his twin sister Cassie were here. While the two women had never really gotten along all that well, he was certain that Cassie would have known what to say or do to help Sami through this, she had always been adept at reading people.

Sighing, Rex ran his fingers through his hair, distantly aware that John and Lexie were talking, presumably about whatever injuries Sami had sustained during her fall, and just as he started to tune into the conversation, Lucas suddenly spoke from behind him.

"How long?"

Rex turned to see that Lucas was staring down at his clasped hands, elbows resting on his knees, as if his hands could give him some kind of explanation, some kind of cosmic answer for why this had happened.

"How long what?" Philip echoed with a frown.

"How long did she know?" Lucas rephrased, this time with a hint of bitterness and anger. "How long did Sami know and not tell me?"

"She only just found out, man," Brady defended his stepsister sharply, and Belle glared at Lucas through her tears as she rested her head on Philip's shoulder, who didn't seem to mind the fact that she was clinging to him rather painfully.

"It's true, Lucas," Lexie said quietly, but with a steady gaze. "She was in just a few hours ago, I administered the test myself."

"She would have told you if she'd had time," Rex insisted.

Lucas snorted, but didn't say anything more on the subject, instead closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the wall behind him, as if he didn't have the energy to argue.

"Doctor Carver?"

A nurse was sticking her head out of the doors down the hall, and Lexie quickly walked over to join her, leaning in so that the nurse could speak with her in private, but everyone in the room, including Lucas, who had opened one eye, kept their eyes glued to her just the same, straining their ears for even the smallest tidbit of information on Sami's condition.

After a few moments, the nurse disappeared back behind the doors, and Lexie looked back at them. "I'll be right back," she promised, then followed the nurse before anyone could ask what was going on.

"Do you think something's wrong?" Belle asked, looking to her father with wide eyes.

"I'm sure everything is fine," John replied steadily. "Lexie will make sure Sami's okay."

He almost sounded like he believed it, but Rex didn't miss the fact that the older man's eyes hadn't moved from the doors that Lexie had vanished behind.

"I'm going to grab something to drink," Brady murmured. "Do you want anything, Dad? Belle?"

"I'm fine," John assured him.

"Some bottled water would be good," Belle said hoarsely, giving her brother a trembling smile. "Philip, do you want anything?"

"I'm good," Philip told her gently. "Why don't you go with Brady? You're feeling kind of warm, maybe you should splash some water on your face, baby."

Rex raised an eyebrow at the term of endearment, but no one else seemed to notice it, so he shrugged it off. A part of him felt obligated to keep an eye on Belle for Shawn, but his cousin had been gone for weeks now without bothering to contact anyone, much less the girl he'd left behind, so if Philip wanted to pursue her now it wasn't really any of Rex's business.

_I just hope you know what you're doing, man,_ he thought. If Shawn came back to find his half-uncle had hooked up with Belle, things would undoubtedly get ugly.

Once John had nodded that Belle should, indeed, go with Brady, she followed her brother around the corner and out of sight, her sniffles echoing for a few moments as the sound of their footsteps grew fainter and farther away.

As soon as they were gone, John's shoulders sagged, and he suddenly seemed about ten years older, the gray wisps in his hair seeming more prominent than ever. He made his way across the room, taking a seat in the chair closest to the doors, his gaze unwavering as he waited for Lexie to return, folding his arms and staring at the doors so hard that Rex was beginning to wonder if the man thought that if he stared at the doors hard enough, they would open.

Given the intensity of the man's glare, that wouldn't have surprised Rex much at all.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he took a moment to study this man who he'd once thought to be his stepfather during the time when Marlena had appeared to be his and Cassie's biological mother. While Cassie had resented John, mostly because she was of the opinion that Tony and Marlena belonged together, Rex had never really had a problem with the man. John could be a bit irritating at times, but he loved his kids and he had genuinely seemed interested in making an effort with his stepchildren.

Which was why it sometimes baffled Rex to see the bitter relationship he had with Sami, who wasn't just his wife's oldest child, but a child that he had raised as his own for the first ten years or so of Sami's life. Mimi, who could be just as bad as Belle when it came to gossip, had filled him in on every little detail she knew about it, but he had a feeling there was much more to the situation that Mimi, or even Belle, realized.

Because having had a confusing, and somewhat traumatic, childhood and lonely teenage years gave Rex some insight into his temperamental half-sister. He knew what it was like to feel alone, like the people who were supposed to be there for you had let you down, and he could see the sad longing in Sami's eyes sometimes when she looked at the man she'd once called Daddy.

_Life's too short not to spend as much time with the people you love as you can,_ Rex thought sullenly, his throat tightening. That's what the serial killings had taught him, that you couldn't take the people in your life for granted because you never knew when you were going to lose them.

And you might never get a chance to make things right, to say goodbye.

That was part of the reason he'd decided to try and build a relationship with Sami, because he'd already lost his biological father, grandmother and twin sister. In these days, you really couldn't afford to put things off, because the regrets would haunt you for the rest of your life.

Maybe someday Sami and John would figure that out.

A low groan filled the air, and Rex turned around, only to find Lucas with his head in his hands.

"Lucas?" Philip asked tentatively.

"This is all my fault," Lucas croaked, his voice thick with emotion. "This is all my damn fault..."

"C'mon, man, don't say that," Philip replied. "It was an accident, no one's to blame, you know that. Sometimes... sometimes these things just happen."

"Why do they always happen to us?" Lucas asked miserably. "Why do they always happen to me and Sami?"

Philip exchanged a helpless look with Rex, neither of them having an answer. "I don't know, bro," Philip said at last. "No one knows why this stuff happens, it just does."

That didn't seem to comfort Lucas in the least, when he lifted his head, Rex nearly flinched at the utter devastation he saw in his half-brother's eyes. His face was still very pale and his mouth was thin and quivering, as if he just wanted to curl up in the corner and bawl.

The loss of this child, a child he hadn't even known existed, had clearly hit him hard, and Rex understood why. It was a terrible thing to lose a baby like this, but to Lucas it must have been so much more than that, this child had been a creation of the love he and Sami had, for a night, allowed themselves to openly and honestly share.

A love that, at the moment, was little more than ashes.

"She was pregnant, Philip," Lucas rasped, his dark eyes swirling with despair. "She was pregnant with my child and now that baby, that precious little baby, is never going to..." he broke off with a choked sob, putting his face back into his hands, his shoulders shaking.

Rex swallowed hard, a profound sense of grief weighing on his chest, and he reached over and placed a hand on Lucas' back, a wordless offer of support. While Lucas didn't seem to notice, Philip did, and gave him a weak, but grateful smile over their brother's back, his own arm encircling Lucas by the shoulders, strong and steady.

It struck Rex then that, for the first time, the three of them really and truly were brothers, at least for a moment.

A few minutes later, Brady and Belle returned, with drinks in hand, and Belle came over to them with two extra bottles of water. "I forgot to ask you if you wanted anything, Rex," she said in quiet apology, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy. "So I brought you some just in case."

Even though he wasn't all that thirsty, Rex took it with a faint smile. "Thank you, Belle."

"I, um, got one for Lucas, too," Belle told Philip, handing him the other bottle. "I figured he might need it..."

"Thanks," Philip whispered, his eyes soft as his fingers brushed her hand to relieve her of the water. "You're an angel, Belle."

The sound of the double doors swinging open cut off any reply Belle was about to make, and they all lifted their head to see Lexie had returned. Philip gave Lucas a gentle nudge, directing his attention towards the doctor.

"Well?" John asked impatiently, the first to rise to his feet.

"She's awake," Lexie announced solemnly, and the collective sigh of relief was audible, but there was more. "And she knows."

"You told her?" Rex asked incredulously. "Isn't she a little fragile to hear that right now?"

"She already knew, I think," Lexie replied evenly. "The first thing she asked when she came to was if she lost the baby. What did you want me to do? Lie to her?"

For a moment Rex was tempted to tell her that yes, if it would have been better for Sami's health, that's precisely what he would have wanted her to do, but he figured that since Lexie was the doctor, she probably knew what she was doing and remained silent.

"How is she?"

Surprisingly enough, it was Philip who asked, and there was genuine concern in his tone.

"It's too early to say for sure, but physically she's been lucky," Lexie answered. "She's got a fractured ankle, two broken ribs and a broken arm, plus a concussion and plenty of bruises, so she's going to be dependent on someone else to take care of her for a while."

Rex winced at the list of her injuries that, while not life-threatening, certainly had to be painful. It was a miracle that she hadn't broken her neck during that fall, really, a miracle for which he had a feeling every person in the room was extremely grateful.

"Don't worry about that," Lucas said hoarsely, without tearing his gaze away from his hands. "I'll take care of her."

"No," John said sharply, and with a surprising amount of venom. "That's not a good idea."

Lucas bristled, his hackles raising, and Rex, sensing an argument, decided to intervene. "Why not?" he asked calmly.

"Because the last thing Samantha needs right now is to be around him," John replied darkly, and if looks could kill, Lucas would have been six feet under by now.

"Actually, John's right," Lexie sighed. "Right now, I think being around Lucas would only have a negative affect on Sami's health, both physically and mentally. She's going to be going through a really rough time right now, and, no offense, Lucas, but your presence would probably only make things worse."

Despite himself, Rex was inclined to agree. He could remember all too well how upset Sami had been that night at Alice's after seeing Lucas all over that other woman, and in the shape she was in now, he didn't think she was up to it.

"We can sort that matter out later, though," Lexie said smoothly. "Right now..." she trailed off, fixing her gaze on John. "She's asking for you."

"What?" John looked startled, and more than a little surprised.

"Sami wants to see you," the doctor clarified. "Before I even told her you were here, she was asking for you. I think you should go in and see her. After that, Belle, you, Brady and Rex can go in." She nodded at each of Sami's siblings in turn, and Rex was relieved to hear that he'd be able to at least see how Sami was doing with his own eyes. "Just immediate family for now, no one else is going to be admitted."

Her eyes darted in Lucas' direction at that last part, but he didn't seem to notice. He was already lost in his own thoughts again, which had to be so jumbled, so desolate, that Rex was grateful not to be in his shoes.

"I'll go ahead and take you back now, John," Lexie offered.

"Thanks," John murmured.

"Tell her we'll be in to see her next," Belle requested with a sniffle.

"I will, sweetheart," John promised, then disappeared through the double doors after Lexie, leaving a tired silence in his wake.

"You know," Rex cleared his throat. "Maybe we should get her some flowers or something."

"That's not a bad idea," Brady agreed with a thoughtful nod. "We can go get some right now, before Dad comes back out."

"Get her lilies," Belle informed them weakly. "She loves those."

"White ones," Lucas added dully.

"White lilies it is," Brady said, giving Lucas a sympathetic glance. "Rex, do you want to walk down with me?"

"Sure," Rex replied, eager to stretch his legs. "I'll be right back," he told Philip, who nodded in acknowledgment.

Following Sami's stepbrother down the hall towards the elevator, Rex observed the tense set of Brady Black's jaw, and mentally counted down from ten, waiting for the older man to speak.

He didn't have to wait long.

"I'm going to tell Philip to go ahead and take Lucas home," Brady said evenly, punching the down arrow beside the elevator shaft. "Sami's not going to feel up to seeing him right now, even if Lexie and my dad would allow it, so he might as well go home and try to get some rest. He could probably use it."

"And if Sami asks for him?" Rex inquired.

The elevator chimed as the heavy steel doors slid open.

Brady gave him a steady look as they stepped inside. "Do you really think she's going to?"

"No," Rex admitted with a sigh.

"It's for the best, that they have some time apart for now," Brady said quietly. "Sami's not in any shape to deal with Lucas right now, and frankly, I'm not sure Lucas is up to dealing with Sami, either. This has been a horrible day for both of them, they need time to try and cope with what happened on their own."

"You're right," Rex begrudgingly agreed, pressing the button for the lobby.

"When she's ready, Sami will want to see him."

"And if she doesn't?"

Brady didn't have an answer for that, and neither did Rex, so they rode the rest of the trip down in silence.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

The ceiling was blank.

She had been staring at it for what seems like hours, and she had yet to find even the slightest marking on the alabaster white ceiling overhead. It was just an empty, blank canvas.

Sort of like her.

Closing her eyes, Sami Brady took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to will the pain away, to make herself feel nothing. Because if she didn't feel it, it wasn't real, and if it wasn't real, then this was all just a dream. Just a horrible, twisted nightmare that she was going to wake up from any minute now.

She had to, because otherwise this would all be real.

And she knew she didn't have the strength to endure this, not now, not after everything she had been through.

There was a tentative knock at her door, and she heard someone enter the room.

"Sami?" Lexie's voice filled the room. "I've brought John back."

When she didn't answer, she heard the doctor sigh, and the sound of heels clacking on the floor, followed by the door closing, told her that Lexie had left. She didn't need to open her eyes to know that John was still in the room, she could practically sense his presence as he stood near the door. His helplessness, a loss for what he could say to make this better, hung heavily in the room.

And Sami, in her attempt to remain detached from her pain, decided she pitied him.

He was probably standing there with one arm folded across his chest, the other propped up to touch his mouth in troubled thought. John was uncertain, and confused as to why she had asked for him, of all people.

Given all the anger that had been between them over the past few years, she couldn't blame him.

In truth, she didn't know exactly why she had asked for him.

Lexie had told her that her family was here, and by that she had meant John, Belle and Brady... they weren't much of a family but they were pretty much all she had left.

Her parents were dead, she hadn't seen Eric or Carrie in several years, and she still hadn't forgiven Bo for giving the order to shoot her mother during Marlena's little attempted escape on the prison rooftop, so it was unlikely that her uncle would have shown up. And her grandfather's heart couldn't take any more stress, so Sami had been relieved when his name wasn't mentioned, and hoped no one had even called him yet.

So that left the Blacks, her pampered little sister, her self-righteous stepbrother, and John.

The man who had broken up her parents' marriage, and constantly stuck his nose into her life as if he still had the right.

As if he was her father or something.

But she'd asked for him, when Lexie told her that he was in the lobby.

Partly because he was there, because he'd bothered to come at all, and partly because… well, she wanted her parents. She wanted her mother to hold her right now, for her father to hold her hand, but that was impossible.

Her parents were dead, they were gone forever.

But John was here.

And he'd come rushing to the hospital as soon as he heard.

Sami was too tired, too utterly drained emotionally, physically and mentally, to be angry or bitter at John, she had enough to be angry and bitter about as it was.

He came, and right now that meant everything.

"Are you going to stand at the door all night?" she rasped, opening her eyes.

John's hand fell away from his mouth, just where she'd known it would be, and he slowly crossed the room to her bedside, brow furrowed intently as he looked her over.

"Thank you for coming," Sami said quietly.

"Of course I came," John replied, sounding surprised that she'd questioned whether he would or not. "Belle and Brady came, too, and so did Rex. We're your family, where else would we be?"

_Good question,_ Sami thought bitterly. _Where have you all been every other time I've needed you?_

She shook those thoughts aside, though, knowing that resentment wouldn't do her any good right now. There was enough hard stuff to deal with at the moment without dragging her troubled childhood and dysfunctional family into the mix.

"How are you feeling?"

John asked the question tentatively, frowning in concern as he pulled the visitor's chair up alongside her bed and sat down in it, his worried gaze never leaving her.

"Okay," Sami lied pitifully.

From the look on his face, her stepfather didn't believe her in the least, and she couldn't blame him.

She'd already gotten a glimpse of herself in the reflective tray beside her bed and she looked terrible. Her cheek was bruised and she was sporting a cut across her lip, not to mention the casts and bandages covering her various broken, fractured or sprained body parts.

As much as those injuries hurt, even with the drugs Lexie had administered, the physical pain was nothing compared to the gaping emptiness she felt inside.

Only a few hours ago, she'd been adjusting to the fact that she was going to be a mother again, and now it had all been for nothing. As disheartened as she had been by the prospect of being a single parent for a second child, she had been undeniably content with the idea of having another little one around. Will was getting into his teen years now, he didn't need her as much, and he'd always wanted a little brother or sister, but there was no chance of that now.

This baby could have been such a blessing, only how it was gone.

And it was all her fault.

She'd wanted it to go away, she'd been wishing that the "problem" didn't exist, and now her wish had come true.

It was all her fault.

_Oh God, _Sami thought, a surge of despair rising up in her chest.

She took a few deep, trembling breaths, trying calm down, but it only seemed to make things worse, and squeezing her eyes shut against the tears welling there certainly didn't help, because every time she closed them all she saw was visions of laughing children, flashes of dark brown hair and blue eyes and bright smiles...

"Samantha?"

Distantly, Sami was aware of John's voice, so rich and familiar, echoing around her as she started to hyperventilate, silent sobs racking her slender frame as she clutched the sheets around her in her fists so tightly that her knuckles had to have turned white.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?"

She wanted to shout that of course she wasn't okay, she wanted to kick and scream and fight, but she couldn't stop shaking and the tears were starting to slip past her eyelashes, searing their way down her cheeks.

"Peanut," John whispered, his hand touching her shoulder.

At his old nickname for her, which her father had tried to duplicate over the years, Sami fell into her stepfather's arms, weeping shamelessly, and John's arms came up immediately to wrap around her protectively. She burrowed into his chest as deeply as possible, burying her face in his shoulder and sobbing uncontrollably.

"Oh, Sami…"

John stroked her hair with his strong hands, rocking them both gently as he murmured incoherent words of comfort into her ear, pressing kisses to her temple and just holding her as he had not done in years.

Like a father would hold his daughter.

All these years, she'd fought John so furiously, lashing out at every turn, because it was easier to be angry than to be hurt. That was a lesson she had learned early on in life, one that he had inadvertently helped her learn, but it wouldn't do her much good right now.

Her innocent little miracle, her second chance, was gone.

And all she wanted was her Daddy.

"Shh, baby," he whispered against her hair, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm here, peanut. I'm here."

* * *

After pacing the lobby for what seemed like forever, Brady finally spotted his father emerging from Sami's room.

"Dad's back," he said over his shoulder, to Rex and Belle.

Belle was on her feet instantly, hurrying forward to meet their father as he approached, while Rex stood more slowly, his expression guarded. "How is she?" Belle asked immediately. "Is she okay? Does she need anything?"

"She's sleeping," John sighed wearily.

He looked like he could use some sleep himself, Brady noted. There were dark circles under his father's eyes, and the lines around his mouth and eyes seemed more defined suddenly.

Whatever had happened in Sami's room must have been emotionally draining.

"That's probably good for her," Belle murmured. "Right? I mean, sleep is good after something like this?"

"Yeah, Tink," Brady agreed with a faint smile. "Sleep is good."

"How's she handling things?" Rex asked quietly, stepping forward with an awkward shuffle.

"She's hurting," John answered truthfully, and Brady thought he caught a glimmer of wetness in his dark eyes. "She's hurting real bad."

"Does she remember anything?" Brady questioned. "About her fall, I mean."

"Nothing, really," John replied. "She was on her way up to her apartment, coming home from having Lexie administer the pregnancy test, but that's all."

"Maybe that's for the best," Rex murmured.

"How so?" Brady asked.

"Does she really need to remember all the details of her fall?" Rex responded evenly. "She's got enough to deal with right now without having to relive the accident."

"That's true," John nodded. "Lexie says in time she might remember more, or she might not. Sometimes an event like this… something so traumatic, the mind just sort of shuts it out. Sami's mind will just have to decide whether or not she's strong enough to deal with the memories or not."

"Sami's tough," Belle declared softly. "She'll remember when she's ready."

"I'm sure she will, sweetheart," John said, putting an arm around his youngest child and giving her shoulders a light squeeze. He looked around the waiting room. "Lucas went on home?"

"Phillip dragged him," Brady replied.

"I think Lucas was still in shock," Rex added quietly. "He didn't put up much of a fight."

For which Brady had been terribly relieved. He'd been preparing himself to have to argue with Lucas once Phillip agreed to take his older brother home, he'd even had a mental list of all the reasons that it was pointless for Lucas to stay, but he hadn't had to use any of them. Phillip had simply told Lucas that Sami was in good hands, and there was nothing that Lucas could do for her right now. The best thing he could do was go home and think about how he was going to break the news to Will, who was still at camp.

And Lucas, looking strangely numb and disoriented, had let Phillip lead him from the hospital waiting room, murmuring about how Will loved the few weeks he got to spend at camp each summer.

Brady didn't envy Lucas when it came time to tell Will what had happened to his mother.

How could anyone explain this, much less understand it? Will was one of the most insightful and wise kids in Salem, but he was still just a kid.

And it was going to be hard for him to grasp all of this.

_Maybe he could use a therapist, _Brady thought with a sigh. Maybe they all could._ If Marlena was only here…_

But Marlena was dead.

His stepmother had turned out to be the Salem Stalker, the person responsible for killing Abe, Jack, Cassie, Maggie, Caroline and Tony. Brady still didn't understand how that was possible, how Marlena of all people could have been the killer. He had so many questions, but they would never be answered now.

There had been a police shootout on the prison roof.

Marlena had been scared, confused, according to his father, and Brady wished with all his heart that John had not had to witness it.

It would be, he knew, an image his father could never get out of his head.

"Should we just go home and come back tomorrow?" Rex asked John uncertainly. "Or…?"

"You can still go in and see her if you want," John told them. "Just try not to wake her."

"Yeah, okay," Rex agreed with a nod. "I, uh, I guess I'll just…"

He squeezed past them, heading in the direction of Sami's room, and Brady looked at his father and sister. "I'm going to go in with him," he said, and John nodded. Brady caught up to Rex just as the younger man was pushing open the door to Sami's room and he slipped in after him.

Inside, Sami was lying pale and motionless, hooked up to the various machines around the bed, and Brady was struck by how small she looked.

And how young.

It was funny, Sami was an adult and several years his senior, but she looked almost childlike as she slept now, peaceful and still.

The bruises, cuts and bandages made the tableau frighteningly morbid, however.

"She's really banged up," Rex observed softly.

"She is," Brady said, swallowing past the lump in his throat. "Poor Sami."

Rex lowered himself into the chair beside the bed, staring at his half-sister's face, and Brady watched as Rex reached out to brush a loose strand of hair away from her eyes. "She hates hospitals," he murmured.

"Yeah," Brady agreed. "She does."

"Cassie hated hospitals, too," Rex said quietly. "She used to say they gave her 'the wiggins', whatever that means."

Despite himself, Brady smiled. "She must have picked that word up from Belle and Mimi."

"Probably," Rex conceded, without looking away from Sami. "She was my best friend, you know? We knew everything about each other. Sami's my sister, too, though… and I hardly even know her. I never took the time to get to know her."

"Yeah, well, Sami can be hard to get to know," Brady told him with a shrug. "She likes it that way."

"Defense mechanism," Rex muttered.

"What?"

"It's a defense mechanism," Rex explained, looking up at Brady with a blank expression. "Like Belle's incessant perkiness."

Brady nodded.

"I just wish she'd let me get to know her," Rex sighed. "I wish she'd let me in. She's my sister."

_And my stepsister, _Brady mused.

Sami had been great when he was little, she'd played with him and teased him and spent time with him. She hadn't let her anger at his father color her opinion of Brady, and Brady didn't know if that was because he'd been just a little kid or if it had to do with the fact that he was Isabella's son, but he missed those days.

Things had been so much simpler back then.

When he'd come back from boarding school, he'd been a mess of teenager anger and angst, and he vaguely recalled lashing out at Sami the first time he saw her.

That was when everything changed between them.

Not because of what he'd done, not entirely anyway, but rather it was then that Sami stopped seeing him as a cute little kid, an almost-brother, and started to look at him as John Black's adult son.

Things had been troubled between them ever since.

But they had that history, at least. No matter how bitter or nasty they were to one another, they still had his entire childhood to fall back on.

A sort of unspoken, ignored bond that just wouldn't go away.

Rex didn't have that, though.

He had never even met Sami until he was in his late teens, when he and Cassie first came to Salem, and they'd had a rocky relationship from the start, even before they found out they were related, first by Marlena and then by Roman.

They'd been particularly keen on blaming one another for the serial killings, Brady had noticed, but something had changed in recent months.

If he needed proof of that, all he had to do was look at Rex, sitting beside Sami's bed.

Wishing for his sister to let him in.

"Sami and my dad haven't gotten along for years," Brady found himself telling Rex, although he wasn't sure why.

"Yeah, I know," Rex nodded.

"But she asked for him today," Brady continued, looking not at Rex but at his stepsister's sleeping face. "Maybe this whole nightmare has opened her eyes to the fact that she's not alone. That she has a family that wants to love her, if she'd just let them. Eric hasn't been home in years, Sami's going to need the only other brother she has."

"She has you, too," Rex pointed out.

"Yeah."

Brady sighed, reaching over to adjust the blankets for Sami, to make her more comfortable.

He was glad she was resting now, because he knew this entire ordeal was going to sap her of all of her strength. The next few months were going to be rough, but he hoped she knew that she didn't have to face them alone.

_You've got a lot of people who love you, Sami, _he thought. _I just hope we can help you through this._


End file.
